6 Responses

  1. Shawn Kurian
    Shawn Kurian October 22, 2014 at 1:31 pm |

    Hi Jonathan,

    Great blog post; it was both enjoyable and informative. I have a few comments for you to make your post better:

    1) You should change all your citations to Harvard Style. It appears right now you are using some sort of other citation style that involves superscripts.
    2) There is an extra space between the last 2 paragraphs.
    3) It may be beneficial to insert an image into your post. This will provide readers with a different way of looking at your post and it will add more ‘flavour’ to it.
    4) I am thoroughly impressed by the number of sources you have cited, all of which appear to be journal articles. This is astounding and I applaude you for such efforts.

    Overall your blog post is wonderful and I am excited to read the final draft.


  2. Leah Hayward
    Leah Hayward October 22, 2014 at 2:32 pm |

    Hey Joho,

    This post was really well written. I just have a few suggestions:

    – “Along with the high receptor density, the afferent vagus nerve is connected to a diverse range of chemoreceptors and mechanoreceptors, allowing the gut to interpret and distinguish a variety of signals.” I’m just a little bit confused here, do you mean the efferent vagus nerve? because the vagus nerve is innervating the gut?

    – “The rising incidences of multidrug resistant bacteria are on the rise, and may be correlated of overall population stress levels, which are also rising.” You say rise a lot here 😛

    Happy editing!


  3. Julia Martinko
    Julia Martinko October 22, 2014 at 2:35 pm |

    Hi Jonathan,

    Nice immuno post!
    You should switch your reference style to Harvard, I assume you are using Mendeley so just change that.
    If you were so inclined, you could summarize some of the data for the treatment of rats with Bacteroides fragillis into a table showing the effects of treatment.
    My favourite part was the section on neuroendocrine hormones, and I like the connection at the end to multidrug resistance- that was a really cool point. Try to reword that last sentence to avoid the word “rise” twice in that sentence. I quite enjoyed this post! Thanks Joho keep it up.

    – Julia M

  4. Nickolas Goncharenko
    Nickolas Goncharenko October 23, 2014 at 3:39 pm |

    Ditto on what Julia says, change your references.

    The second and third paragraphs could really be shortened to two sentences. One saying that the Vargas nerve is the main nerve which interacts with the stomach and a second sentence on the study showing that microbes have an effect on the nerve.

    The sentence “are all exactly the same in structure” needs to be explained (the chemist in me demands an explanation of what part of the structure remains common).

    Again the sentence “The rising incidences of multidrug resistant bacteria are on the rise, and may be correlated of overall population stress levels, which are also rising” needs to be addressed. Which population stress levels are you referring to the bacteria’s stress level or society in general.

    The conclusion has a lot of fluff one thing that you can add is the relationship between the gut biome and autism. This relationship is one of the biggest impact that your topic has at large.

  5. James Lai
    James Lai October 25, 2014 at 6:17 pm |

    Hello Jonathan,

    Gut microflora/fauna is really important to human health, but it’s not well studied, as you point out. Maybe you’ll unexpectedly discover something huge (but probably tiny because they’re bacteria) during your IP.

    I have some comments about your writing:
    -“not much is known about microbiome-host interactions, and remains a keen topic of research” is awkwardly phrased. Perhaps you should remove the comma and add “it remain a…”
    -“Numbering in 100 trillion cells, the human microbiome is comprised of 10 times” the correct idiom is “numbering in the 100s of trillions of cell…”, and the correct use of “comprise” should be “the human microbiome comprises 10 times…”. Alternatively, it can be “… microbiome is composed of 10 times…”
    -In your first paragraph, the semicolon should actually be a colon: the phrase after your semicolon is not an independent clause
    -“rats were fed with the beneficial bacteria” remove the word “with”
    -“Surprisingly, the majority of neuroendocrine hormones found in all walks of life, including plants, animals, and microbes, are all exactly the same in structure” using “majority” and “all exactly the same” seems slightly contradictory
    -“The rising incidences of multidrug resistant bacteria are on the rise, and may be” remove this comma, it’s unneeded (you have several other unneeded commas throughout; take a look at them)

    I hope these points were helpful.

    James Lai

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